This is it! Life is here! Live the dream!

Friday, May 15

Off to the Jungle...

Tomorrow I am off to the jungle again for more training. It will be about 2 more months of communication. Please be praying for strength to keep going and physical endurance as we live in very hot conditions. Wisdom and knowledge in learning more bible stories in Spanish, and understanding of the new concept of house church. Unity with our team mates but most of all LOVE from the Lord to over flow into the people around me. Love you and see you in 2 months!

Spiritual Warefare is real...

Well my life has been extremely crazy for the past few days. I have seen spiritual warefare a little bit in Thailand growing up and had bad dreams but never like this. On Monday, May 11th was when it started.

I woke up completely tired from having alot of bads dreams, and told my friends to pray for me because I was so tired. Then I went into the bedroom and read the whole book of 1 John, and fell asleep praying. I then saw some really crazy things that I do not care to describe, and was told by this demonic man to get out of here and that I had to get on the floor. I was terrified and got on the floor, and that is all I remember. Well my friends tell me that they came in the room and tried to wake me up because I was lashing around on the floor and crying. They then called my boss and his wife and they came over and tried to wake me up as well. They were praying over me and trying to talk to me but I did not respond. Then after about 15 minutes they tried to sit me up and I woke up. I then remember waking up to everyone looking at me, and then I started to cry because I was scared of the man that yelled at me. I had a terrible headache and was completely exhausted, and was sweating really bad.

Then that evening after alot of prayer and a long time for me to finally go to sleep I woke up and wasn´t having any dreams but I could not breathe. It felt like someone was on my chest or was choking me.

This was just a start of terrible dreams I have had for the past 5 days. I KNOW that God allows things to happen to us for a purpose and that He is always right there with me when these things are happening. But it has been extremely hard right now. I have talked with my parents about this and some other people about why and what I need to do in this time. God is teaching me alot about who I am and what sin I need to confess. I also know that Satan does not want me here on the mission field and sees me as a threat. But who cares what Satan thinks, he is a toothless liar and I am going to keep fighting for my Lord Jesus.

The missionfield is a battlefield and Spiritual Warefare is real. But God is in control and has won the VICTORY over all!!!

Wednesday, May 13

My dreams...

Demon Dreams
Douglas Palmer

When I dream
Walking through hell
It seems some one has cast a spell
Demons in my head
Shut up
Im paralyzed now
Curse the demon
And im free
But only for a moment
Then im stuck again
But there is a light
I glimpse at it
And I see you
The demons
Are screaming now
For they have no power how

Monday, May 11

Mixed Emotions...

Well I have been out of the jungle and life here on the mission field is really hard. There are so many times I wonder why I got myself into this. I really do miss my friends and family alot, and pray for them all the time when I miss them. I just really want to be real about what is going on in my life. So here is goes... I really feel when people say I am going to the mission field that they are going into a serious battlefield. I am daily on my knees talking to the Lord about everything in life. I have had so many attacks from Satan as far as sickness, friendship problems, bad dreams, sin, my own sinful self, and the list goes on. It is these times I just want to leave the frontline of the battle field and go home and just be loved on. But it is in these times that I know I am going through the struggles and hard times. I seriously feel beaten and hurt, and just want to leave. But I know the Lord has called me here and I am going to keep fighting in the battle for my Lord Jesus. The verse that I have been praying over daily in my life is Jeams 1:2

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when ever face trails of many kinds, because you that the know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."

God has been so good but it truly is so hard for me to be here on the missionfield at times. But I just have to keep fighting for my Lord.

Also alot of changes have happened on the extreme team and somtimes it is really hard to obey my leaders in times. But it says directly in Hebrews 13:17 "obey your leaders and submit to their authority". It is not like I don't like my leaders and respect them at all, I just am having a hard time with some of the decisions.

Thursday, May 7

Jungle Struggle...

Well I am out of the jungle again, and so much is going on. I can't even explain what I am going through. I so badly just want to just sit down with all of you for days and share with you what the Lord is teaching me about my sins. Wow I have never been attacked so much by Satan in my life. I have learned that I am at WAR daily with dark forces and my own self. God is good and I truly have learned to just fall on my face before Him when no one else is there and run to Him! There are so many times I feel alone and not loved but God is all I need. The number one thing that is hard is the relationships, and I am always crying and broken over that. I have learned that I struggle so much with wanting so bad to be close to one person and have such a strong desire to have a best friend always in my life. Or even just to get married and always have my husband there with me. Which is weird because I have never struggled with being single. But that is wrong because I should run to God and have Him be my best friend, and human love is NOTHING compared to God's love over me. I love you all and miss you so much, and pray for you all the time.