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Saturday, November 22

So what about. . . Conflict?

There is no such thing as a relationship without conflict. Conflict is a part of life. It exists as a reality of any relationship, and is not necessarily bad. In fact a relationship with no apparent conflict may be unhealthier than one with frequent conflict. Conflicts are critical events that can weaken or strengthen a relationship. Conflicts can be productive, creating deeper understanding, closeness and respect, or they can be destructive, causing resentment, and hostility. How the conflicts get resolved, not how many occur, is the critical factor in determining whether a relationship will be healthy or unhealthy, friendly or unfriendly, deep or shallow. Conflicts run all the way from minor unimportant differences to critical fights. There are conflicts of needs, wants, preferences, interests, opinions, beliefs and values.

The understanding and use of power is rooted in the basic need for self-worth. Used for selfish ends of domination and control, power is a distorted form of self-affirmation. It represents the attempt to enforce our values and needs on others. But many times my own values and needs are themselves in conflict.

There must be faith that chaos, anger, confusion, and doubt can be overcome and that conflict can bring friends toward reconciliation. There are two things we need to remember about who we are as the christians. First, we must remember that by the very act of creation, God gives each individual unique value and worth. Faith in this gift allows each friend to affirm his or her sense of self-worth which enables us to engage in the constructive utilization of conflict. Second, we must remember not only to trust each other, but also to trust that God uses even our disagreements to further the work of the church and our spiritual growth.

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